I generally avoid chain restaurants (Chilis, Applebees, TGIFridays, Unos, etcetcetc) like the plague.  Their food is gross.  Sorry, it just is.  But yesterday, we decided we wanted to sit down during our date-day lunch and TGIFridays was right there.  

I went in hesitantly and asked for a menu.  It had literally been nearly 15 years since I had been in a TGIFridays.   It didn't look promising... so I told the staff that I was allergic to dairy and was seeing whether I could eat anything.  "OH!  Well, we have an allergy menu!" they say.  Well, sweet!   We took the menu and sat down.  
After she spent about 15 minutes telling us how to sign up for TGIFriday deals-via-email, our waitress tried to interest us in getting some appetizers and mixed drinks. Umm, gross.  no.  So I ordered a diet coke and Mark got a beer.  Then I finally got the chance to look at the "allergy menu".   I was thinking there'd be alternatives for people who were allergic to the top 8 allergens... that there'd be options.  So, I kid you not, this was a copy of the regular menu, with little allergy icons next to each item... and there was a little carton of milk after every. single. item.   With the exception of a rack of ribs for $22 which I DID NOT want for lunch.   Seriously.  seasoned french fries, balsamic vinegrette, salads, sandwiches, anything on a bun. All of it had that little icon.   We should've left then, but we didn't.  This is where my anxiety comes in and my heart starts pounding and I start acting stupid. I don't want to be rude, so  I tell the waitress that there is literally nothing on the menu that I can, or am interested in eating and she just stares at me blankly.  I then ask her if she can modify a reuben sandwich for me... like leave off the cheese and DON'T put it on the grill with butter.

... she asks me if I want fries with that.... I point to the milk sign next to the fries.

Or a salad??   ...  So they make me a salad with iceberg lettuce, slices of flavorless tomato, cucumbers...a little bit of crouton dust on the bottom!!! and oil and vinegar on the side.

And my reuben comes out (i'll mention right now that they sat us by the kitchen and i was WATCHING them back there AND i could hear them talking at the waitress station).  It isn't our waitress that delivers it.  I open it up... specks of cheese that had been REMOVED from the sandwich inside... and covered in butter.

3 minutes later the waitress comes back, and I tell her that the sandwich is covered in butter... at this point I'm so stressed out i don't even want to eat... my voice is almost shaking.

Saying nothing she brings it back.  

Mark eats his food....

still no food for me...
then a new salad comes out...

and finally, the "head of the kitchen comes out"...  "so, we don't have a toaster, how can we make your sandwich without putting it on the grill"....  I think "WTF SERIOUSLY?!".    I say "Um, just don't grill the bread.  Leave it normal... no grill, no toast.  Just regular rye bread."   He says " ok, so what else do you want on the bread... beef...  uuhh...  how about horseradish mayo"   me "Ummm... no.   Beef, sourkraut,  thousand island dressing (which the waitress PROMISED was dairy free... but, full of MSG according to the "allergy menu").   Him "ok"  and gets up and leaves.


15 minutes later the sandwich comes out. 

Done correctly... but absolutely disgusting, of course... dry, flavorless... and by this time I have a headache on top of anxiety from dealing with this crap and I don't want to eat. But I eat the darned thing.


Aaand the check comes eventually...   nothing comped.  of course. 

Seriously.  $33 for lunch... no apps, no sides, no dessert.  1 beer and a crappy burger and even crappier reuben.

Never. Again.  Honestly, chain restaurants like this shouldn't exist!  I have better luck at Burger King :-X



aaaand then we went to Starbucks to get me my crack (tall-soy-no-water-chai) so that I'd feel better about my abysmal lunchtime experience.  They used whole milk instead of soy.  I took 1 sip. 1.  My lips blew up and got all hot and tingly, my throat swelled (luckily, I could still breathe... mostly), my ears turned red and started itching from the inside out... and then came the being-violently-ill for the next 2 hours as my body tried to eject the 1 SIP of whole milk chai that I had ingested.   

Yesterday was a bad day.   I still don't feel 100%.  I write this blog as a foodie, and as a mom, and as an allergy survivor.  Most days are amazing with very few days like yesterday sprinkled in there (Seriously, I haven't been that sick from dairy in many, many years). But it is this reality that the food allergic have to live with each and every day and I'm hoping that even more awareness will be raised as time progresses.  We've come a LONG way in the last 10 years or so as far as food allergy awareness in the USA, but there is still a lot more awareness to be raised and education/mindfulness to be employed.  

and now, back to our regularly scheduled recipes and stories ;-)

What could be more challenging than a life-threatening food allergy?  How about multiple food sensitivities.

In addition to my dairy allergy, I have a sensitivity to corn.  What do I mean by a "sensitivity"?... well large amounts cause severe GI distress and processed (HFCS) in any amount causes such spikes in my bloodsugar that I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes during my last pregnancy.

I know, I know.  Whole foods.  Make your own stuff.  Eat clean, you don't want that crap anyway.


You're right.  But.   Let me introduce you to a beautiful little website created by a woman who has a legit corn allergy.
http://www.cornallergens.com/list/corn-allergen-list.php

Here is a list of all the things derived from corn.  Holy Shit.

 You'd have to live in a bubble.   I would love to hear from someone with a corn allergy.  I want to know whether they react to the trace/processed amounts in these things, and whether it's a contact allergy on their skin.


And let me add something else:  I DID try to avoid everything on this list for a while.  I felt... in control.  But also completely disconnected.  I couldn't eat out. ever.  I couldn't have anything made with iodized salt.  I couldn't eat at my friends and family's houses without feeling "poisoned".  I didn't even take my rescue inhaler  when my asthma flared b/c the propellant was corn-based!

And then, after my system had some downtime, I was able to add a bit back in.  Occasionally and never in large amounts.

Such limitations endured over long periods of time have severe psychological and social implications.  Perhaps everything in moderation is a better mantra. 

But I'll still pass on the popcorn and soda.


Also, as an interesting little sidenote:  The entire idea behind subsidizing and putting corn into EVERYTHING was thought up with by people who were seeking to end the high rate of hunger in the United States.  It worked.  I actually have to give them props for that.  As everyone is ripping the system down for causing the obesity epidemic in the U.S.A...  many, many less people are going hungry.

It's just time for some nutrition education.

What does it mean to have a life-threatening food allergy?  It means being different, being aware, being strong.  Speaking up for yourself and asking questions both at home, and abroad.  It means years of introspection and moments of frustration.  And, for me, it means a deep connection to the natural world.

What does it mean to have a child with a suspected life-threatening food allergy?  It means lost sleep, and terror.  It means guilt, and pity, and feeling completely out of control.

Even as someone who has *thrived* with food allergies, having 2 children whom I suspected MUST have similar issues was enough to induce panic attacks and severe anxiety.

I feel for the parents of children with food allergies.  Especially those with young children who've been newly diagnosed.   It is a terrifying prospect.  But I also ask you to refer to my first paragraph:  "What does it mean to have a life-threatening food allergy".    They WILL be ok, and, once they learn to read and identify allergens on labels/ feel comfortable ASKING to see those labels when they're out and about, you will be ok, too.

After a Summer of food challenges, we found that both of my girls (ages 3 and 1.5) are indeed NOT allergic to any known food.  And what a blessing.
But the process was heart-stopping at times.  I have to say that I watched my daughter in abject horror the first time she eat icecream...  she just beamed and slurped it down.  I could almost feel my throat closing in... oh wait... no, it was closing in... that was my anxiety-induced asthma...

Here is a poem that I wrote while we were doing out food challenges this summer: