The topics of nutrition, food allergies, healthcare, herbs, psychology, stones, farming, cooking, homesteading, brewing, yoga, meditation,family dynamics, consumerism, anxiety and panic, and spirituality have been swirling in my head for years.  I start down a path and I find absolutes and fanaticism everywhere I go.  Alchemists and  Anti-vaccination advocates live in the Herbal Healing feed.   The latest diet fad comes into my email inbox toting the benefits of grapefruit seeds or pasture-raised quail eggs or raw milk straight from the udder. 1 in 3 kids has food allergies and we should be angrily advocating the living hell out of it. If you ask the organics gurus, we're poisoning ourselves with every non-organic item we consume or use in our environment.  We should all be taking krill pills as the best form of Omega Fatty Acids even though humans were never evolved to eat krill... or  bluegreen algae in their "green" breakfast shakes.  Gluten obviously rots not just the guts of people with Celiacs, but EVERYBODY's guts... and their brains too.  Homegrown is the way to go, even if your soil is polluted by the runoff from the ever encroaching neighbor's nitrogen and pesticide laced greener than green lawns.  You should medicate your pets to keep the nasties away from your kids, but it causes seizures and shortened lifespan.  Place a rose quartz in your drinking water and leave it by the light of the moon... put a flower representing your desired state of mind in with it for good measure to make an extra powerful life-changing homeopathic mineral and flower water...   and it cured my friend's cancer, too.

Colors can influence the way you feel and what you think.  The power of prayer.  The power of positive thought... and the law of attraction regarding negativity.  Manifestation happens not by accident. 

People are afraid.  Mortally terrified... and they'll eat pasture-raised nitrate free bacon until all the evil gluten sludge leaves their lives.  "Banishing The Sludge Of Our Lives".    ... how's that for a book title?


I was standing in line at Wegmans the other day, Mark had the kids.  I put up all our groceries and the lady behind me was just staring.  Then she looked me square in the eye and said "I wish I could eat like that".   I kinda just smiled and nodded and said "Yeah, my kids really like fruit".   But she continued "I WISH I could eat like that, but I can't" and she began pointing to various items.  I kind of looked at her, curiously and nodded and said "Well, I have food allergies, and my husband is diabetic, so we really don't have much of a choice in the matter...".   She just nodded.  Was quiet for a moment and then repeated "I really wish I could eat like that".

Now, my initial reaction (that, of course I didn't say out loud) was "YOU CAN!  What the HELL are you talking about?"   And then I started noticing, we had non-organic fruit, factory made crackers, a sack of white flour and one of sugar...  I was actually feeling guilty about that week's purchases...   and I missed a crucial point:   She. Can't. Eat. Like. That.    Not due to lack of money and not due to lack of intellect or to what she believes to be healthy.

She couldn't do it for a more insidious reason.  Fear.  Of change.  Of life.  Of being alone or unaccepted in her decision to change how she fuels herself.  Maybe she has anxiety, or panic, or OCD.  Maybe she has some sort of borderline personality something, or lives in an environment hostile to change (either inside of her head, or from other people around her).  

THIS is the basis of what I'm seeing everywhere.  The pattern that runs through all of my interests.  Fear.  Some people counter it with fanaticism in one direction or another.  Other people run like hell from anything new or improved.  Most people are trying to self-preserve and are angry.

And why haven't I gone forward with getting a degree in nutrition (I'm looking at certifications still btw)?  B/c I perceive a bigger problem that isn't being addressed.  Why haven't I become a certified Herbalist or Tarot Card reader or Reiki practitioner...  b/c there's a MUCH bigger picture once you look at the cast of characters involved in the community.  Characters who fear and condone.  Fear doesn't help. Controlling all aspects of life is impossible. 

And there are people at the forefront combating this.  Actually helping at the root of the issue.  And a select few of them are using nutrition, and homeopathy, and meditation, and color therapy/stones, and herbs... and the established medical community as well.   And this, is where I'm headed. Resetting sites:  psychology and social work. 

What does it mean to have a life-threatening food allergy?  It means being different, being aware, being strong.  Speaking up for yourself and asking questions both at home, and abroad.  It means years of introspection and moments of frustration.  And, for me, it means a deep connection to the natural world.

What does it mean to have a child with a suspected life-threatening food allergy?  It means lost sleep, and terror.  It means guilt, and pity, and feeling completely out of control.

Even as someone who has *thrived* with food allergies, having 2 children whom I suspected MUST have similar issues was enough to induce panic attacks and severe anxiety.

I feel for the parents of children with food allergies.  Especially those with young children who've been newly diagnosed.   It is a terrifying prospect.  But I also ask you to refer to my first paragraph:  "What does it mean to have a life-threatening food allergy".    They WILL be ok, and, once they learn to read and identify allergens on labels/ feel comfortable ASKING to see those labels when they're out and about, you will be ok, too.

After a Summer of food challenges, we found that both of my girls (ages 3 and 1.5) are indeed NOT allergic to any known food.  And what a blessing.
But the process was heart-stopping at times.  I have to say that I watched my daughter in abject horror the first time she eat icecream...  she just beamed and slurped it down.  I could almost feel my throat closing in... oh wait... no, it was closing in... that was my anxiety-induced asthma...

Here is a poem that I wrote while we were doing out food challenges this summer: